Promise me, my son, that your kisses will never stop!
It has been 3,652.42 days since you were born.
Today marks the close of the first decade of your life and the beginning of the next.
I will never forget the first time I ever saw you, just one day old. I wasn’t expecting to feel anything special. But the minute I saw you…you took my breath away. I don’t ever remember having seen anything quite as perfect as your face that day.
As I reflect back today, I am certain I saw your beauty, but I did not know how incredibly strong you were, both physically or emotionally. It never dawned on me that it was your huge spirit and sheer determination that kept you alive those 9 months despite the fact that the deck had been stacked so clearly against you. I refused to let myself imagine then what you had been through just to get here or where you might end up now that you had, indeed, arrived. I tried to fool myself into believing that the mere fact that you made it as far as you had meant that you were strong enough to survive the life you had been born into.
I had a very busy life you know; single, career girl in her prime…no ties… just starting out on my own with big plans, things to do, people to meet, social life to maintain and a world to see. That afternoon at the hospital, I pushed my rose colored glasses back up the bridge of my nose and went on my way.
I took comfort, however, in rationalizing that you were put here for a reason. I remember thinking that your arrival was probably meant to be a catalyst to ignite a spark of change in someone who had squandered so much of her life and who, in realizing what a miracle your survival was despite the insurmountable odds she placed in your way, would certainly change because of it. I apologize to you today for only thinking of you back then in terms of your being a means to another's end, a tool rather than the person you were just hours old...the person you were to become. Old habits die hard. I had spent a lifetime wondering what it would take for true change to occur. When I saw the miracle of you, I knew there was nothing and no one on this Earth more incredible than you. If change was going to happen for her it would be because of you.
And so, you waited it out. A couple months passed. I’d swoop in time and again when something blew up or problems flared. I’d try to right the course, tidy that little messy world up, give you love and hugs, try to make your life better without interfering and hope for the best.
In the blink of an eye, it happened…. "the call.” Some people wait years for the call. I wasn't even waiting and within hours you were fast asleep in my arms...just you and me, forever.
Nearly 10 years have passed since you and I began our journey.
A decade later, I remain in awe when I look at you…. you still take my breath away.
Happy 10th Birthday, WonderBoy!
I love you with all of my heart,